I had a great dream the other night. I was sitting around the table with the Beatles as John Lennon tried to work out his latest song. He sang “Speaking words of wisdom” and then he paused. I couldn’t help myself and I finished off “Let it be”. He shot me a really nasty look. I don’t know whether he was upset because he didn’t like my lyrics, or whether he was annoyed that I jumped the gun. Perhaps he just didn’t like my voice. Before I could find out why he was upset, I woke up. Either way, I was content, knowing in the end he would choose “my” words.
Of course, in real life, we rarely know how things are going to turn out. Although I plan on running the NYC Marathon in 2 ½ months, I know that today’s surgery and the subsequent physical therapy, will determine a lot. I am nervous. I am fasting. Not as a form of penance, just one of the rules that the doctor gave me. Still, in some sense, it feels like today is a day of judgment. I feel silly as I type those words, knowing people who are struggling with real issues of the most serious nature. Still my ability to run, not just someday, but soon, means a lot to me. I am in the midst of trying to raise $25,000 in memory of my mom for children with cancer, through running. I know I am a different person when I run, a better one I think.
I wonder whether I should write “right knee” on my right knee and “wrong knee” on my left. I wonder whether telling the doctor of my need to run will make him do a better job. I wonder what G-d has in store for me. As I sit here waiting, it is hard to “let it be”.
PLEASE donate in my mom’s memory to help children with cancer: